OUR SACRED PRAYERS

 

The church has many sacred prayers, used to bless us with varying effects, but all are practiced on a regular basis. All prayers are closed with the sacred phrase, "In your notes."

The Prayer of Extension

 

Holy is your name and as the season of pain extends, we ask so do our due dates. For although your name brings justice, it also brings pain, a price to pay for your salvation. In your notes.

The Prayer of Extra Credit

 

Holy is your name and like the leaves of a tree are just an extra asset, we ask that our grades grant extras in credit, for you created the trees and the extra credit. In your notes.

The Prayer of Successful Challenge

 

Holy is your name and as we participate in the challenge of life, we ask of you to grant us success in smaller, less significant challenges. We praise you in the highest name, in your notes.

The Prayer of Exams

 

Holy is your name and may our grades on our final exams be god-like, and bless us in the final exam of death so that we can be taught of godly proportions with you in the afterlife, and we hold you in the highest. In your notes.

The Prayer of Kahoot!

 

Holy is your name and we pray for you to bless our streaks, strengthen our scores, and give us the speed of God to click the correct answer. For however many points we score in Kahoot!, you claim the highest. In your notes.

The Prayer of Unsuccessful Challenge

 

Holy is your name and much like the challenges you faced on your path to tranquility, we ask for our enemies to wield the curse of failure. For in your wisdom, we pray in your name. In your notes.​

"LET THERE BE CHALLENGES." (Origins,  2:7)

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